Co-parenting tips for separated families
Separation can be a challenging time for parents, children and extended family. Our Parenting Orders Program team share some co-parenting tips for separated families.
Separation or divorce can affect all members of the family. There are often pressing issues that need attention and your time post-separation.
While there is nothing that can take away the big emotions, upheaval and change during this time, our Parenting Orders Program (POP) team wanted to share some tips, to help make things a little easier for your family.
8 Co-parenting tips
1. Accept different parenting styles
Make a distinction between your parenting preferences and your child’s needs.
- For example: a sugar free diet is a preference – avoiding certain foods due to allergies is a child’s need.
2. Open and honest communication
- Use age-appropriate language to explain the situation to children, this could include revisiting the situation several times.
- Be clear that the separation is not the child’s fault.
- Do not blame or denigrate the other parent in front of the child.
- Help your child feel connected to the other parent.
3. Provide reassurance
- Reiterate your love and commitment to your children.
- Assure them that both parents will continue to care for them.
- Allow your child to love their other parent without fear of hurting you or negative consequences.
4. Maintain routines
- Stick to regular schedules for meals, bedtime, and school etc.
- Consistency helps provide a sense of safety, trust and normalcy.
5. Encourage expression of feelings
- Often parents create boundaries for their own emotions, concerns or needs, rather than what their children need.
- Invite children to talk, draw, or write about how they feel.
- Listen without judgment or trying to “fix” their problems or emotions.
- For example: ‘It seems like you are worried about your school concert coming up, tell me more about that.’
6. Create opportunities for family fun
- Continue doing enjoyable activities together as a family to reinforce positive bonding and reduce stress, only if the co-parenting relationship is positive and focused on the wellbeing of the children.
7. Watch for signs of distress
- These can include changes in sleep, appetite, behaviour, or school performance.
- If needed, consider professional support like a counsellor or therapist for your child.
8. Self-care is vital
- To be present and attentive to your children, you need to be in a good place yourself.
- Ensure your choices around self-care are helping and not hindering your parenting capabilities. i.e. eating well and exercising will help, while drinking excessive alcohol will hinder.
- Seeking professional support like a counsellor or therapist, is a form of self-care.
More information
Our POP program offers tailored support and education, to help separated families work together and find solutions in the best interests of their children.
If you would like more information or assistance regarding parenting post-separation, and how best to support your children, please call us on 1800 123 228 or click on the link below.
Parenting Orders Program
Improving co-parenting relationships and helping to reduce conflict.
A mix of individual counselling and group education programs, focusing on the needs of children.
