Navigating separation amid rising cost-of-living pressures
Separation can bring significant emotional, practical and financial challenges for families. But with rising housing costs and the increasing expense of running a household, some families are facing an added challenge – being unable to afford to live separately.
These pressures can make an already difficult time more complex, affecting decisions about housing, finances, parenting arrangements and what comes next for a family.
Speaking with ARN Ballarat, CatholicCare Victoria (CCV) Family Relationship Centre practitioners Kathryn Lyons, Senior Manager Family Law Services, and Jessy Edmondston, Team Leader Family Dispute Resolution, shared what they are seeing across the community, practical advice for parents navigating separation, and how families can access support.
What if you have separated but cannot afford to live apart?
For some families, separation is no longer just an emotional decision. Rising rents, mortgage costs and the expense of running two households mean that some parents are continuing to live under the same roof long after a relationship has ended. Jessy said this is becoming increasingly common among families accessing support at CCV.
“The cost of living is impacting people’s decision to be able to live separately, so some families are separated but living under the same roof.”
Living together after separation can create unique challenges, particularly when parents are trying to manage conflict, establish new routines and support their children through change. Seeking support during this time can help you have productive conversations about boundaries, parenting arrangements and the next steps for your family. It can also provide practical strategies to help you reduce conflict and create a more stable environment for your children while you work through longer-term plans.
How can you protect children during separation?
While separation can be challenging for everyone involved, children are often the most affected when conflict between parents remains unresolved. A key piece of advice from both practitioners was to keep children out of adult disagreements wherever possible. This means avoiding situations where children feel caught between parents or become responsible for carrying messages from one parent to another.
Children are often better able to adjust to separation when the adults around them can communicate respectfully and keep the focus on their needs. Supporting your children often starts with supporting yourself. Learning how to manage emotions, navigate difficult conversations and access help when needed can make a significant difference to your family’s wellbeing during separation.
When should you seek support?
Many families delay seeking support because they hope things will improve on their own, feel they should be able to manage without outside help, or feel embarrassed about asking for assistance. Kathryn said some people can also feel a sense of shame about reaching out for support, which often leads them to put off seeking help “We have parents who have separated very recently, but others who have been separated for a number of years,” she said.
Whether separation is recent, or arrangements have been in place for some time, support is available. Seeking help early can make it easier to address challenges before they become more difficult to resolve. It can also help you improve communication, explore your options, and focus on practical solutions before conflict escalates.
What is Family Dispute Resolution?
Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) is a form of mediation that helps families work through issues following separation in a safe, structured and neutral environment. You can access FDR to discuss parenting arrangements, time spent with your children, communication challenges or other family matters that have become difficult to navigate on your own.
Kathryn said mediation can offer families an alternative to immediately pursuing legal action “Mediation is a great way to hopefully keep people out of court unless they need to be there.”
She explained that court proceedings can be stressful, costly and emotionally demanding for families. Mediation provides an opportunity to have constructive conversations, focus on your children’s needs and work towards agreements that support your family. Separation can bring strong emotions and ongoing conflict, which is why practitioners provide a neutral environment where parents can step back from those tensions and focus on practical outcomes.
In addition to mediation, when families reach out to FDR, they can also be connected with other supports, including counselling and parenting programs, where further assistance is needed.
When you meet with a practitioner, the focus is not only on the issue that brought you to the service, but to take a holistic approach allows practitioners to connect you and your family with the services that best meet your needs, ensuring everyone involved, particularly children, receives the right support during times of change.
Who can access support?
Separation affects more than parents. Grandparents and other significant people involved in a child’s life can also be impacted and may need support navigating changing family relationships.
“We’re here to support all families. We offer a welcoming and non-judgmental space where people can talk about what’s happening and work through their options. That might involve children’s arrangements, or property and financial matters such as dividing assets and managing debts after separation” said Jessy.
If cost is a concern, support is designed to remain accessible for families already experiencing financial pressure.
Many Family Dispute Resolution services are available at low or no cost, and if you hold a concession card, services may be available free of charge. Even for those who do pay, mediation fees are kept low, helping to ensure that cost is not a barrier to accessing support.
At a time when rising living expenses are making separation more complex for many families, affordable support can provide practical assistance without adding further financial stress.
Practical advice for parents navigating separation
If you’re navigating separation, these practical tips from CCV’s Family Relationship Centre practitioners may help reduce conflict and support your children through the transition:
- Keep children out of adult disagreements and decision-making.
- Avoid asking children to carry messages between parents.
- Focus on what your children need, rather than what the other parent is or isn’t doing.
- Try to maintain routines and stability wherever possible.
- Seek support early, even if problems feel manageable at the moment.
- Remember that it is never too early or too late to ask for help.
- Take care of your own wellbeing. Children often cope better when the adults around them have the support they need.
- If financial pressures, housing concerns or parenting challenges are adding stress, talk to a practitioner about the support options available.
Need support?
Every family’s situation is different, and separation rarely affects just one part of life.
Whether you’re looking for help with parenting arrangements, communication challenges, your children’s wellbeing or managing the impact of separation, support is available.
Alongside Family Dispute Resolution, CCV also offers parenting programs, referrals to counselling and free webinars that provide practical advice and support for families navigating change.
If you’re unsure whether Family Dispute Resolution is right for your situation, a practitioner can talk through your circumstances, explain the process and help identify what support may be most useful for you and your family.
To find out more or speak with someone about your situation, contact your local Family Relationship Centre here.
